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you just cry out to jesus

Posted on 2006.02.07 at 16:15
Current Music: spanky whining
I never update this thing anymore. I feel like such a loser lol.


I just had the funnest conversation with Justin. I really like him, he's a great neighbor. Charity is the sweetest person ever too. They make me happy to live here. It's fun to see them, and Belle and Mini and Spanky's greatest little friends.

I really have nothing to update about. I had a wonderful weekend, and now it is Tuesday. I made great friends with some of my people at JCL, which is always fun! hmmm. Classes are tough. I wouldn't neccesarily say I am overloaded, but I've got a lot on my plate, and that's WITH having two days off a week.

The house is coming along really well. We have a second floor, and they are in the process of putting up the walls. I'm really excited. I'm SO HAPPY that Rachael is moving in with us, she is going to be soooo much fun to live with, and she just adores Spanky. I'm really happy. She was really good to me last night, we had loads of fun at astronomy, even though i was sick as a dog. oh well. im gonna go now though. i think well go see the house, we havent been since saturday

Sister hazel was Amazing.

Posted on 2006.02.02 at 16:07
Current Mood: i need to pee
Current Music: best ill ever be- sister hazel
I wish I could say this song affected me less than it does.



I miss you
I miss being overwhelmed by you
And I need rescue
I think I'm fading away
But I keep thinking that you'll wake me up with a whisper in my ear
I keep hoping that you'll sneak in my room

So I wait and I wait
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be

I miss you
I miss talking all night long with you
And I need this to find a way to your home
My love can you hear me
Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough
Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone - alone

So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be

Can't keep my hands from shaking
Stumbling through the wreckage again
But you're gone

So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
And I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid on our backs and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be

Posted on 2006.01.25 at 22:25
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: sister hazel- champagne high
man, what a great day!


WHAT A GREAT DAY!

i totally had an awesome time in my first two classes, which is crazy. my test in math for dummies was totally easy, and i was waiting for my astronomy class when i saw not only heather and my friends in astronomy, but COREY FANNIN so I was totally sitting there seeing all these people who i am friends with. it was pretty freakin sweet. blah blah blah, heather and i had a great time at Wackadoos, and totally fell in love with basketball which is crazy, but i think we love the idea more. We are going to be groupies. freakin sweet. And we are going to see GIN BLOSSOM and SISTER HAZEL at the UNF arena on Friday for TEN BUCKS. I Love college. i really really really do.



but now spanky needs some hard core loving. and im uber tired.

dog park with andy tomorrow!!!

Please go away

Posted on 2006.01.22 at 21:21
Current Mood: ashamed
Current Music: Rest In Peace

This song is for someone who just won't leave me alone because I think he raped my head and now I can't get rid of him.

 

 I died, so many years ago.
                     But you can make me feel like it isn't so.
                     And why you come to be with me, I think I finally know, mmm.
                     You're scared, ashamed of what you feel.
                     And you can't tell the ones you love, you know they couldn't deal.
                     A whisper in a dead man's ear, it doesn't make it real.
                     That's great, but I don't want to play.
                     'Cause bein' with you touches me, more than I can say.
                     And since I'm only dead to you, I'm sayin' stay away.
                     And let me rest in peace.

                     Let me rest in peace! Let me get some sleep!
                     Let me take my love and bury it in a hole six foot deep!
                     I can lay my body down but I can't find my sweet release!
                     So let me rest in peace!

                     You know, you got a willin' slave.
                     And you just love to play the thought that you might misbehave.
                     But 'til you do, I'm tellin' you
                     Stop visiting my grave!
                     And let me rest in peace!

                     I know I should go,
                     But I follow you like a man possessed.
                     There's a traitor here beneath my breast,
                     And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed.
                     If my heart could beat it would break my chest.
                     But I can see you're unimpressed.
                     So leave me be,

                     And let me rest in peace! Let me get some sleep!
                     Let me take my love and bury it in a hole six foot deep!
                     I can lay my body down but I can't find my sweet release!
                     Let me rest in peace!
                     Why won't you let me rest in peace!

 


Posted on 2006.01.22 at 18:56
Current Music: knock 3 times
Life back in Jacksonville is intense. Again. Spanky and I are members at the most amazing private dog park here, and have soooo many new friends as a result of it. He is finally potty trained, which is such a relief. I will be home next weekend, for which I am incredibly excited. Last night I went to Ruby Tuesdays with Heather, Kristen and Ed and than to get Heathers tattoo added on. It was really exciting. They guy who did her tattoo looked exactly like Matt Settle, which of course made me miss him. Only this guy had the personality of a rock. Stephen is calling me any minute so I'm basically wasting time untill he calls back. I have to read a book for my adolescent lit class that has me uber depressed. Oh well. It's just a book, but it's still pretty dark. I might be going to Europe in June with some people here at UNF, so everyone pray that I can go! It's a pretty tight application process, so I'm hoping that I'll be accepted. Life is pretty good now. Intense, but at least I'm breathing. I miss my sister. She's finally pregnant and I can't even be there for her. I'm so upset that I'm going to miss practically the most exciting thing in her life. God please just let me go home for the summer. PLEASE let me be with my sister. I need her now as much as she needs me.



MANDA i love talking to you online. it makes me feel like im not completely seperated from everything bradenton except for my family. Thank you for being a good friend. give lucas my love and that tool my left foot for his bum :)


Posted on 2006.01.08 at 16:07
Current Mood: i am emo.
Current Music: Because of You
I really love Kelly Clarkson. She's always emo when I am :) Her latest song- my goodness. Because of You sums up my life and the guys that have been in it. I think for her she is singing about one guy but practically everything that she says in this song goes with one guy or another that has been in my life. Not even romantic instances neccesarily, just guys affecting me in certain ways.


Ps. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never strayed too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never strayed too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never strayed too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you




P.P.S WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Posted on 2006.01.08 at 00:08
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: hermione playing with a toy

WOW. It is SO GOOD to be back in Jacksonville! I love my family dearly by GOLLY I'm happy to be home. It has been an intensely interesting month in Holmes Beach but Jacksonville is where I need to be. I can't believe this but I'm really really looking forward to starting my classes. I think getting STRAIGHT A'S IN COLLEGE really fueled my fire and gave me an urge to get this college over with. I don't mind what they throw at me, I'm just looking forward to getting into and getting it over with! I want my house built! I've been building how I want to decorate it like real decorators do and it actually looks good and i'm really excited. I'm super duper excited about how my room is going to look- I realized something REALLY cool that I can do and MAN it's gonna rock! :-D

 

By the way, has anyone heard "Bat Country" by Avenged Sevenfold? My goodness. I LOVE that song!!!!

 

So yeah, I went to the Outback Bowl and I think the most exciting thing about it (besides the amazing gator fans surrounding us!) was the halftime show! I gotta say, UF- not so much. But ISU did this AWESOME performance, they played the theme song from Pirates of the Carribbean (the johnny depp one) which was AMAZING! So THEN these guys do the theme song from batman- and WHAT, I ask you, is their formation?!  THE BAT SIGNAL.  HOW COOL IS THAT?!  So much better than meaningless formations and straight lines.  I wish I knew how to put pictures on here, or else I would post the picture of them in the bat signal.  SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW!!!  There.  I bolded it so even if you guys don't read my entries you should at least see that. Ah ha!    So THEN a group of over 2000 high schoolers came out and played some really cool stuff and the dancing was simply amazing.  I have it on video tape, but you guys would never see that, now would you?  :)  so anywho, everyone have a great night, but I'm stinking tired!!!


Posted on 2006.01.02 at 17:28
Current Music: spankys man bark
The outback bowl was AMAZING! Go gators!


haha i cant believe i actually rooted for the gators to win! I felt very treacherous doing the bite/clap thing they do, but it was awesome! the game was total energy :)


and i learned all the fun cheers! my favorite was the funnest to sing


goooo gators! daaa da da goooo gators! daaaa da da goooo gators!! come on gators! get up and go!!


hehe it was so stupid, but incredibly fun to do with the drunks around me :)

and one half of my face is sunburnt, and one arm is sunburnt.

Posted on 2005.12.31 at 09:56
I am a loser with no plans for New Years Eve.


and wow. i suck.




I think that's all I can say.

Posted on 2005.12.29 at 22:41
Current Mood: mr grumpy stripes
Current Music: alex the lion singing newyork newyork
You know how sometimes you feel fat, and ugly, and worthless until perhaps someone looks at you a certain way, or tells someone how good you look, or that he wants to take you out, and than you feel prettier than anything?


well, tonight, I got all 3 of those, and I'm going to be basking for the night.



I look good in pink!!! Duely noted, pink from now on.


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